Whilst sat in my local coffee shop a few weeks back trying to work out
precisely which etiquette faux pas really got me riled, I had a bit of a brainwave whilst getting rather frustrated by the small child stood on the same seating I had parked my bottom to enjoy my Cappuccino, staring intently at me whilst picking his nose. Lovely. The parent couldn't have cared less and I had to
avoid awkward eye contact with this golden nose treasure seeker for quite some time.
This was just the start of my thought process on
Coffee shop etiquette. It was a lightbulb moment, being a using of coffee shops and making them
my pop-up office from time to time, I realised that there is a lot to be said when it comes to
coffee shop do's and don'ts and how to (and very much how not to) behave. Not only can certain faux pas be noted from a customer perspective, but also very much
from your disgruntled barista too, of which I spoke to a fair few (quoted anonymously below) around the county, as well as around the country to get their perspective on this well (or not so) mannered topic.
Costa Coffee in the UK have started to change their wifi password every hour, printing a fresh password on drinks receipts to ensure that their customer doesn't just camp for free. Personally, I think this is a cunning idea and I won't knock them for trying it, I'm actually all for it. We are all guilty of making cafes and coffee shops our own personal office space, myself included, so with this concept I do believe some rules should be adhered to so as not to make enemies with your local coffee pit stop - it's not a free office facility, it's their business too, so don't take advantage. I think as customers, myself included,
some lessons can be learnt here.
Firstly, for the love of the cake gods, buy something! And don't take your own food in either, you wouldn't walk into a pub with a Big Mac Meal and proceed to eat in front of them now would you? Well, I would at least
hope not! Don't change your mind on your drink order mid-stream. Know what you want and stick to your decision, it costs the shop money and time to change your order half way through. And
don't take anything away from the counter until you have paid for it, it can confuse the staff if they haven't accounted for everything, give them a little time and respect for a tricky balancing act.
Build up a relationship with your barista. If you camp in the same place regularly, talk the staff and owners, build a relationship and even show your support, tell your family, followers, friends and even your colleagues about this fantastic place should they ever have a need for a drink or something to eat. This also goes for fellow customers, don't ignore people, acknowledge them, especially if you come across them on a regular basis, you never know who they are and where a conversation may take you both, so use this networking opportunity positively.
On the same note, if you are a regular customer, please consider tipping. Some small/independent coffee shops use their tips to take a team building night out once a year instead of dividing out 50p a week for peanuts. If you go a lot, leave some change, it's a good thing to do for them... and for you. Or at the very least give your
GOOD feedback when you have it, we are all guilty of only complaining/giving bad feedback!
Don't take up a large table for yourself. If there is a communal table, use this to free up a space for a larger group, if there is this option to do so. If you do sit on a larger table by yourself, don't place your items on or in front/behind other chairs or spread out so nobody can share your space, it may be required during peak times. This also goes for pushchairs, suitcases and bags, show some consideration.
Nursing a glass of tap water for the entirety of your stay is not cool. Again, you would think this goes without saying, but it seems it's a common occurrence and once that is simply not OK when spending hours plugging in your laptop and making yourself quite at home - See the first point for a refresher!
And if you do want to plug in your laptop, ask the venue if it's OK to do so, their electricity bill is already sky high, so again, be thoughtful here.
If you fancy typing away to some tunes, put on your headphones. Apparently the newest way to annoy the general public in a great way is to listen to your new "Eminem" Album on full blast, though your tinny iPhone speakers. Not cool, plug in and don't make other people endure your own weird taste in music.
On the subject of sound, speak up when ordering your coffee. If it's a loud or bustling venue, sometimes the staff may not be able to hear you, no need to scream it out, but don't whisper your order so it frustrates everybody involved.
It wouldn't hurt to help clear away your table if you can. Even to just put everything on your tray or stacked on your plate ready to be picked up, rather than leaving everything spread messily around the table. Some coffee shop owners don't like you to bring it to the counter as they may have nowhere to put it when busy, so this goes back to building a relationship with your barista once again, find out how you can help them.
The "Im paying for this, so I don't to clear it up" attitude is not welcomed. Especially for smaller venues with stretched staff in peak periods, show some courtesy. If you spill your food or drink on the table, it doesn't take much to grab a napkin or ask for a cloth, truly.
Don't complain about the price without knowing the product. Apparently this is a regular problem and people don't understand the quality that goes into beverages or into food, especially cakes. This isn't helped by supermarket treats costing a fraction of independent venues, but trust me, there is a huge difference in quality. On the same note,
don't complain that the service is slow when your food is made to order and you aren't in a fast food restaurant.
Don't steal the teaspoons. I can't imagine how much money is spent each year on replacing stolen teaspoons alone, not forgetting coffee cups, milk jugs, sugar bowls, napkins and cake forks... I wonder if anybody has actually conducted a study?!
You really can't get away with ordering a pot of tea for one... for 2 people. Then ask for hot water to top it up! Do you honestly want to be at the receiving end of the "death stare" from your waitress?!
We've heard this one before, but don't order whilst on your phone. It's just plain rude, either step away until you are ready to speak to the person in front of you or wait until you are sat down. But keep conversation to an acceptable level, nobody needs to hear what you told your doctor this morning or how much money you are making whilst sat here drinking your hot chocolate - we detest you!
Don't assume you are wealthier/smarter/better off than your server. Some baristas are Grade A students, with degrees, they may even have their own business on the side, so don't talk down to them, why on earth would you feel you needed to?!... These rules don't just stop at business people or writers in need of a semi-permanent retreat, this goes to any customers, including those taking children for a treat.
If you are bringing in baby food - please clear it up after yourselves. It's really not OK to expect staff to scrape mushed bananas and raisins from the chairs. This goes without saying surely?
Don't feed your child their own food. Fruit or a favourite drink may be OK if the shop doesn't sell it, but ask first out of courtesy. Cookies out of a bag, cake from the local supermarket is not on if this is what your chosen venue is selling. And whilst they are eating, don't let them run around pressing noses up against the clean glass shelves or scoot around on those horrendous scooters.. it's not a playground.
And lastly, say thank you. With a smile to make it even more pleasurable for you and for your coffee wizard! It costs nothing to say and will make for a nice experience all round, especially if you have been a pain in the panini whilst visiting!
Are you a "coffee shop camper" or a disgruntled barista who has to endure bad behaviour from customers on a daily basis? ... I would love to know your thoughts below, so do leave a comment.
With special thanks to all coffee shop owners and baristas involved in the research for this article, they know who they are! It's been amusing and some comments I haven't felt that I can write due to their serious passion and hatred towards certain mannerisms, but I feel this gets the point across perfectly. One of the chaps I spoke to even shared this story with me, so if you have a wicked sense of humour, like myself, then you may find
this coffee shop tale very amusing indeed! Visit
my etiquette workshops page for more information on my offerings too.
I believe my geekery had rubbed off onto my mini companions joining me for this very special afternoon, as they quickly advised me that we were about to enjoy a "Low Tea" due to the height of the table, I love them! The table was set perfectly, our white napkins were linen (no terrible paper ones here) and even starched and set in a fancy fold, much to my delight. The finger sandwiches were huge wedges, not quite the dainty 2-3 bite-sized sandwich it should traditionally be, but we weren't complaining. In fact, far from it, I loved the finger sandwiches and the way they were beautifully presented on a high 3 tiered stand, cut into perfect and symmetrical rectangles and garnished with fresh herbs to finish them off. There was a choice of ham & mustard, salmon & cream cheese and egg mayonnaise & watercress and as we demolished these little works of art very quickly, our waitress replenished them (without us even having to ask) to keep us going for even longer, it was lovely to have such an extensive savoury option. 
Our plates were then cleared away and clean ones provided for our scone course, which was a refreshing change not to be eating our sweets on a mustard or cream cheese smeared plate. I don't actually think my plate has ever been cleared away and swapped for a new one within any afternoon tea I've sampled in the last year or so, it was a very welcomed action. 
We were provided with a new tier filled with a choice of scones, both plain AND fruit, all warm straight from the oven, simply the smell of these beauties was enough to get us drooling for a bite of these large fluffy creations. This was only the second time at afternoon tea that I have been provided with not just strawberry jam & clotted cream to smother my scones with, but also a lemon curd for a very different scone experience, they were delicious with no fuzzy tongues here. A perfect scone. I mean scones, plural - I mean, it would have been rude not to! 
The cakes were dainty, presented perfectly and served on a large rectangular plate, with some treats fixed in place with a tiny splurge of chocolate ganache to ensure nothing rolled around, it was an impressive sight to say the very least. My companions were in awe and couldn't resist getting stuck right in, spoiled for choice and unsure where precisely to start, we almost didn't want to demolish the cake display, it was gorgeous. 
We were provided with cute and perfectly round sweet white meringues sandwiching a dark chocolate ganache to give it a bitter edge, these were my favourite element, coming a close second though, was everything else! Raspberry tartlets with vanilla crème patissière, lavender macarons which melted in your mouth with every bite, tiny carrot & walnut cakes garnished with a piece of real carrot which had us laughing and a double chocolate eclair filled with vanilla cream. Our waitress had told us that we were about to be provided with an extensive selection and she wasn't kidding! 
From the moment we parked our derrières, the background music had relaxed us, the food had flowed, top ups of tea were offered along with a waitress asking to pour for us and the friendly service with a smile telling us exactly what was in each item we were about to enjoy, the entire experience was relaxing and pleasing in every way. I loved that our food came in waves and not all in one serving, as it meant that everything was served fresh and warm or chilled where required, sandwiches didn't curl, cakes didn't dry out and scones didn't cool whilst waiting patiently to be devoured. We didn't have to ask for a thing, everything flowed perfectly and it kept an element of surprise back for every course which I loved about this tea. 
This is how I like my afternoon tea to be served, at a relaxed pace with no rush to leave and no grumbling stomaches by the end. In fact, there was so much food leftover that we had to ask to take a "doggy box" home with us for a second wind later on. The only negative from the entire experience was that the tea choice was lacking excitement for such a stunning afternoon tea, however the staff were very accommodating with my companions unusual requests for lemonade and apple juice in place of their teapots. No tea choices had been offered on arrival, just a simple question asking if we would like tea and then preparing to leave us, so I had to ask rather awkwardly for their tea menu, to which our waitress reeled off quickly a few generic "Teapigs" offerings which did let them down ever so slightly. I opted for an Earl Grey, however, with the superb food on offer, they should really offer a loose leaf tea selection to excite the geekery in their guests, but this is simply the only element I could fault for the experience. 
Afternoon tea is served in the Roxana Bar from 2pm - 5:30pm every day of the week and can be enjoyed inside or outside on the patio in the landscaped gardens, with no need to book, although out of courtesy, I would recommend doing so for larger bookings. £7.95 for a light cream tea with scones and tea & coffee. £9.50 for light afternoon tea of finger sandwiches, cake and tea & coffee. £14.50 for a full afternoon tea as experienced. You can view my full photo album for this stay by clicking here. 
Ps - I popped back in that weekend for a bite to eat (salmon & cream cheese sandwich and some Prosecco didn't disappoint ; ) and there were 5 ladies indulging in the very same afternoon tea I had sampled. They were mmmming and smiling from ear to eat enjoying the very same service I did, so I was thrilled to see I wasn't just being played for on my visit. I highly rate this venue for a wow-factor afternoon tea that won't send you home hungry. To view my full photo album for this visit, please click here. 
www.bedfordlodgehotel.co.uk Please note - On this occasion, my visit was complimentary, following an invitation to view this venue and meet the team. I am in no means obliged to blog or write about their offerings, but I simply choose to share their offerings with my readers, should I enjoy the experience. Any questions, please do email: hello@misssueflay.com 
